Just recently, I’ve learned a few lessons that I probably should pass along.

  1. Keep your tools clean - If you let your tools get dirty and rusty, when you try to tighten up an exterior faucet, and the wrench slips and smashes your hand putting a deep gash in it, you will have to get a tetanus shot so you don’t die.
  2. Strategically place your cell phone - When you take your cell phone to the rest room with you, put it on the end of the counter the farthest from the toilet.  If you put it on the end next to the toilet, it will invariably fall off, and plinko itself right into the swirly abyss.  And then of course you will have to retrieve it as quickly as possible.  If your lucky, you will not have done yet what you came in there to do.
  3. Wear proper clothes when you paint - I’ve done a little painting over the years.  Every time I would paint, I would ruin my clothes, shoes, and anything else within 10 feet of my paintbrush.  But now I’ve figured out how to prevent all the ruined clothes & shoes.  Find out what color paint you will be using, and wear exactly the same color shirt, pants & shoes.  I’ve found this really works.  When you’re done, nobody will ever be able to tell you painted in those clothes.  If you don’t have the exact color shirt & pants as your paint, go buy some.  An alternate solution is to remove all clothes and shoes while painting.  Caution: this solution will save your clothes, but may result in a whole new set of problems.
  4. Keep the lid on your septic tank - If you do not have your septic tank cover securely fastened down, your 3 year old will find a way to pop it open, and then begin to drop into it everything they can find within a 1-mile radius.  We have had a lot of problems with the pumps on our septic tank over the past couple years, so we decided to have it cleaned out.  After the septic guy finished, he knocked on the door and said, “Come here, I need to show you something.”  For future reference, that’s usually not a positive thing when your septic guy says that.  I go out there and he begins to show me things that he’s pulled out of the septic tank.  This list included: a 9-iron, the steering wheel to his John Deer tractor, a gardening spade, a plastic sword, a Kenny Rogers commemorative edition plastic cup, a 6-shooter caps gun, a frisbee, and about 15 golfballs.  Of course these are just the large, non-degradeable items, that he could see from ground level.  There’s no telling what all actually went down there, and what might still be in there.  I think the neighbors dog went missing a couple years back, but I’m sure that’s not related.