Have you ever read some of the labels on the things laying around your house? If not, you should, just for the entertainment value. Here’s a few that I just ran across recently. We have a membership to the greatest store in the world, Costco :-). We like to make a trip there about once a week, and the best thing about going there are all the free samples… yeah. Pretty much everything they sell is very good. And they have great pizza at the Food Court. So we usually go around snacking on anything and everything they will give us, and then go get us a slice of pizza at the food court. And they are giant slices for $1.99. Mmmm. And free-refill fountain drinks for .55 cents. Can’t beat that. OK, enough for the commercial, and I’m getting hungy :-). This Thursday, we were strolling through collecting our samples and one of them was Orange Chicken. It was very good, as usual. So we bought a box of it. We got it out to cook tonight, and I read this on the front of the box.

If you can’t quite see the “fine print”, it says, “Chicken used is 100% Breast Meat”, and then in small print below it, “with Rib Meat attached”. Huh? So I guess in other words, they are saying that it’s 100% breast meat, except for the parts that are not breast meat. Oh, now I understand. I was confused there for a minute. But breast meat or rib meat, it was very good.

On a completely separate note, I think I’ve come up with my next T-shirt design. What do you think?

Here’s another one I ran across in the bathroom (always a good place to find funny lables).

This sticker was on Beth’s hair straightening iron. Several funny things here. First, the picture looks like somebody trying to straighten their eyebrows, with a big line through it. Just in case anybody thought it would be a good idea to use it to straighten their eyebrows. But then you read the label, it’s makes perfect sense. “Eye contact warning for straightening iron”. Well I’m really glad they warned us about that. So for all of you that were just itching to stick this iron into your eye, you have been duly warned that it may not feel good. But that’s not all. The 2nd line says, “In Canada - Not for household use.” Well, I guess I have to say that I’m glad we don’t live in Canada. Because I would hate for my wife to get thrown into a Canadian jail for trying to straighten her hair with a straightening iron. But I guess, according to the label, I could just run an extension cord out to the back yard and she could use it there legally, as long as it’s not in the household. Or maybe she could take it to her Canadian church and take donations for her hair straightening services. That would be ok.

Another one from the bathroom. This is a shower cleaning gadget that is supposed to clean the shower for you. You fill it up with cleaning fluid, hang it on the shower head, push the button, close the shower door, and then come back 10 minutes later, and wah-lah, a clean shower! Of course I’m sure it really does work just as well as it claims. But I was reading the warnings on the device itself. Look at the one that I highlighted with the red arrow.

You probably can’t read that either, but it says “Not a body wash”. Oh, that’s good to know. Because I was just thinking how nice it would be to get in the shower, punch that button and just let it spray that cleaner all over me. Like a drive through car wash for the home shower. How ingenius! But you know, the funniest part is that they would never have thought of even putting that warning on there if someone wouldn’t have actually DONE IT! Can you imagine that poor dumb husband, calling in and complaining about the rash he got from using their Scrubbing Bubble Body Wash.